Paraprosdokians

Thought you might get a kick outta these amigos.

white-happy-buddha

A paraprosdokian is a figure of speech in which the latter part of a sentence or phrase is surprising or unexpected in a way that causes the reader or listener to reframe or reinterpret the first part. It is frequently used for humorous or dramatic effect, sometimes producing an anticlimax. 

Do not argue with an idiot. He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.

I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

If I agreed with you we’d both be wrong.

Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.

To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.

A bus station is where a bus stops. A train station is where a train stops. On my desk, I have a work station.

Dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish.

A bank is a place that will lend you money, if you can prove that you don’t need it.

I didn’t say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with “Guess” on it…so I said “Implants?”

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?

Why do Americans choose from just two people to run for president and 50 for Miss America ?

Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.

You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.

The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!

Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go.

When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.

Nostalgia isn’t what it used to be.

I used to be indecisive. Now I’m not sure.

I wonder if this qualifies: The rule of law works, until our masters say it doesn’t.

HJ

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About H3nry J3kyll
Vincit omnia veritas (using an obscure Latin heraldry motto makes one seem kinda learned and distinguished).

13 Responses to Paraprosdokians

  1. good smiles today- thank you.

  2. carolahand says:

    Thanks for beginning the day with humor, H3nry!

  3. Jeff Nguyen says:

    Not sure if this qualifies but I couldn’t resist jumping in…

    “Writing is a way of talking without being interrupted.” (Jules Renard)

  4. Why do dogs get bent out of shape when you blow air in their face, then stick their heads out the car window at 75 mph? Major league baseball opening day soon, so perhaps Yogi’s best one-liner: “you should always go to other people’s funerals, otherwise they won’t cone to yours”. :)

  5. A great word. Gotta figure out some way to work paraprosdokians into conversation.

  6. Oxymoron … metonymy … assonance … synecdoche … anaphora … hyperbole … epistrophe … chiasmus … onomatopoeia … And now “paraprosdokian”? Good grief. Sometimes I think linguists are every bit as whimsical as physicists, with their up, down, and strange quarks. (Quark in general seems a funny term to me.) They’re almost as goofy as mathematicians, with their irrational numbers, and (my favorite!) imaginary numbers. Fun stuff, thank you. – Linda

  7. cindy knoke says:

    Okay these made my day!

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